The Position of GG Should Go Bye-Bye

Absolutely no offense is intended toward Gov. Gen. Michaëlle Jean. She's an attractive, amiable-seeming person who has an open invitation to visit my home to watch movies and eat pizza whenever she is free and in the area. But I think it's time Canada eradicated the position of Governor General. It's a symbol, and as George Carlin once said, "I leave symbols to the symbol-minded."

"But she's an ambassador for Canada," GG lovers might say.

Guess what, Canada already has ambassadors around the world.

While the Americans grapple with post-9/11 existence, Canadians have been through the looking glass far too long with the Liberal Party, and I think the process of re-grounding ourselves should begin with the elimination of the position of Governor General. Then it should further the process back toward reality by dismissing every last sitting senator and cancelling their pay cheques and pensions.

The days of figureheads, symbolic positions, unelected voices in policy, and general sucking at the Public Teat are over. The 20th Century was the American century, but with the dawning of George W. Bush as a World Cancer, I think it's time Canada got its shit together and stepped up to a leadership position in the world.

There are many uncountable stumbling blocks to Canada reorienting itself in the real world, chief among them: Toronto. Yes, that Liberal purgatory, better known by its scientific designation "megalopolis", must squeeze its collective head out of its ass and expand its vision beyond its pedantically-named-British-Empire-loving streets, and realize that it's still part of a country as a whole.

I don't believe coercion should ever be part of the voting process, but if Toronto goes "Liberal" in one more federal election, I say that Toronto then should shoulder Canada's entire tax burden. If they are so determined to strap on this feedbag filled with shit, then I say let them eat -- heartily.

Also, along this convalescent's road to recovery, Canada must terminate every single civil servant. Not their positions. We need out Social Safety Net, we need our public services -- but we need them to work. And right now they are not working for Canadians. We have far too many bitter, entrenched bureaucraps jockeying desks on the public payroll, creating procedural messes that are beyond the membership of MENSA untangling. Our bureaucraps are lazy, myopic, bitter, constrained...

Am I saying that more money should be flooding out to people with their hands out? No. But I know of too many instances where our Social Safety Net funds are being misspent with no hope of correction because the desk jockeys facilitating this fleecing do not have the character or wherewithal to halt the abuse.

Moreover, I believe law enforcement should play a larger role in corporate life. There should never, never, never be another Nortel-like financial disaster in this country. The people beyond the Nortel debacle should all be jailed. No feather-duster-spankings for these miscreants. It's all too easy for citizens in my tax bracket to focus on the poor, on the welfare recipient because their "income" level is within $50,000 of our own. Whereas, the corporate swine of this country have an income level that's not within $10 million of ours. So, we go after the easier target.

If it were possible for Canadians to put down their TV remote controls, golf clubs, and lawnmowers/snowblowers long enough to write a letter, phone in a complaint to our Animal Farm government, maybe we can begin moving back toward the light of reason. Begin with eradicating the position of Governor General. Then the Senate. Then the bureacraps. There is no Bastille for us to rush, and maybe that's the problem -- no centralized symbol to attack with bricks and profanity. But if there is one Canadian patriot in Ottawa and each provincial capital who could list the favorite restaurants of our leaders, I say the people should converge on these places and spoil a few meals.

In the meantime, let's finally vote the assholes out of office.