My Earth-Shattering Invention Inspired by Tim Horton's

If you are not already aware of the groundbreaking invention by Tim Horton's -- bringing the world some new-fangled, new-Millennium drink called "steeped tea" -- then you must live under a rock. Where I live, this invention by Tim Horton's has been greeted like the invention of glass windows for our houses.

And it's inspired me to do my own experimenting.

After months of laborious effort in my dank, darkened basement I have invented a process by which water can be made to take solid form by subjecting it to frigid temperatures (exact measurements cannot be provided at this time). These "frigid solid water units", as I call them, can then be resized with the use of a hammer and chisel, converting them into "small frigid solid water units", making them not only portable, but of a size that they will fit into drinking glasses filled with liquid beverages, and thus keep these beverages cool. Introducing technology that will keep beverages cool in the hot Canadian climate will doubtless have many beneficial knock-on effects -- not the least of which extending the normal workday from eight hours to fourteen or sixteen hours.

I think my invention has many practical and commercial uses.

For the moment, I am keeping my invention under wraps. I am in the process of patenting my idea, and will soon be in talks with several corporations regarding introducing my invention into commerce.

In the meantime, know that your room-temperature liquid beverages may soon be a thing of the past thanks to the "small-St.-Amand-frigid-water-units" that will be available to the liquid-imbibing public as soon as science, laws, and commerce will allow.