Murder Pays in Canada -- The Lifeline Program

The Lifeline Program appears to be a gift from the Mulroney government to Canada in 1991. The Donner Foundation paid for a "study" and even provided a grant to get the program off the ground.

If you can bear the outrage, these links will tell the story in gutwrenching detail:

• What is that flushing sound?


• Parolees get $41Gs to escort convicts


• From Corrections Canada

Is there no civilization in this goddamned country?

From the Corrections Canada Web site: "It is a fact of corrections that the majority of inmates with life sentences will eventually be released on parole..."

Why? Are Canadian people so murderous that if our killers were not set free a sizable of our population would remain behind bars to rot?

I'm of the thinking that aside from cases of clear self-defense, murderers ought to be locked up in jail for the entirety of their lives. Yes, I realize that Canadian judges reason, "Well, the odds of the offender murdering the deceased again are so slim, the offender should eventually be released." No. Not at all.

Murder is such an aberration, such deviant behavior that the diseased few among us who engage in this heinous act ought to be removed from society permanently. The moment they take a life, the murderer loses his rights. I don't care how sorry they are after the fact. We're all sorry when we're caught.

If some murderers go on to be "model prisoners," great. Leave them in jail to be examples to others.

This foregone conclusion that murderers must eventually be released from jail is an insulting fallacy created by doe-eyed politicians whose closest links to crime are their white-collar-criminal golfing buddies. Our politicians must find other ways to assuage their consciences -- ways that don't put the rest of society at risk.

Being Part of Canadian Judas-Prudence Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry - Meet Pedophile DALE OSWALD

• "Neighbours of a halfway house that has become home to a long-term sex offender have put together a 450-signature petition to voice their fears to the federal government about the man’s proximity to their children."


• "In the interest of community safety, the Kingston Police, and Chief W. Closs under authority of the Police Services Act of Ontario, is disclosing the following information regarding 33 year old Dale OSWALD."


• "... Based on Bill 34, a man like Dale Oswald -- and I would have given you the complete article so you could have seen it -- joyfully admits he is addicted to the taste of young boys. That was in The Toronto Sun. He was considered a predator and a stalker."


• "... [Oswald] was convicted in 2003 of a dozen offences, including assault with a weapon, assault causing bodily harm, uttering a threat, and assault resisting arrest..."

And Dale Oswald now resides in a halfway house a few hundred meters from an elementary school. He can see children at play from his window. This evening I saw a report about this situation on CBC Newsworld and was filled with the familiar acidic exasperation as some lethargic representative of Corrections Canada (named Gerry) verbally shrugged his shoulders over the community's fears of Dale Oswald living in their community.

From the Kingston Police Web site: "OSWALD is described as 6’ 7”, 350 lbs, Caucasian." At this size, he is a fearsome menace to even fully grown adults. But Oswald is unconcerned with adults. He targets children.

I am a believer in creative sentencing for non-violent offenders. I'm a believer in rehabilitation where it is possible. I am also for taking those few irredeemable people -- Paul Bernardo, Clifford Olson, Dale Oswald -- and locking them away from society until the end of their (un)natural lives.

Pedophiles cannot be cured. They cannot be rehabilitated into non-pedophiles. Pedophiles are like real-world vampires, often turning their victims into pedophiles. It's a diabolical fact that many people who suffer sexual abuse as children become abusers, themselves, later in life.

The representative from Corrections Canada, this evening, gave his final, laconic dig at the community in which Oswald resides by saying the offender can only be transferred to another community upon the offender's request. And foxes make honest, reliable custodians of henhouses.

When will people of conscience and conviction finally be in charge of offenders such as Dale Oswald? When will someone with the authority to use the laws that are already on the books in Canada, meant to guard society from those few violent, malformed, evil, sadistic, violent offenders and predators, finally stand up and put the rights and needs of society ahead of the miscreants who prey upon us?

How banal and offhand would Gerry of Corrections Canada be if Dale Oswald lived in his neighborhood? Maybe Dale Oswald should be moved there to see how he would fit in.

To my mind, when pedophiles are apprehended -- "pedophilia" being just another type of murder -- they should never see the light of day again. Anyone who preys upon those most vulnerable in our society in the most fiendish and sadistic manner ought never to walk among the rest of again. Period.

Final note: If you want to sleep at night, don't run a Web search on the word "pedophile" on any news site. The number and variety of stories is nightmarish.

David Emerson is EXACTLY what is wrong with Canadian politics

Since I was a kid first learning how the Canadian system of government and politics worked, I've been amazed and disheartened by the way in which the system binds the hands of voters. Specifically: what if I like a candidate who is running for PM, but despise that party's candidate in my local riding? Or what if I really like the work of a local candidate, but find his party's leader to be completely unendurable? In either instance the Canadian system has me voting against my conscience.

Canadian elections are absolutely not about personalities of individuals. They are driven by anger against one party, hope for another, disenchantment with them all. But they are not about individual candidates. Elections are about party platforms, promises, and perception.

And so David Emerson demonstrates his Hindenberg ego stating time and again -- since his unconscionable defection to the Conservative party -- that voters voted specifically for him, and that he could join any party and still have won his election. The arrogance of the man is enough to make any voter gnash his teeth.

Emerson compounds his egomania by not only sweeping aside calls that he return campaign funds that helped see him elected as Liberal candidate, but actually states a belief that his name-recognition was responsible for the Liberal party receiving so many donations in the first place.

David Emerson believes himself to be the Justin Timberlake of western politics.

Worse yet is Emerson's stubbornness and unwillingness to acknowledge his voters' outrage or their wishes that he run in a by-election.

David Emerson embodies all of the odious arrogant, unresponsive, ego-maniacal, entitlement-driven, leprous traits of Canadian politics. He claims his move to the Conservative party was an effort to better serve his constituents. Well, the constituents he professes to love so much are calling for him to quit, to return money, to run in a by-election. He will have none of that. So, clearly, David Emerson's move was a completely self-serving power-grab; ointment for the ego after suffering with the three-wheeled bus that was the Paul Martin Liberals.

Emerson says that he's often thought of leaving politics entirely, as though that's a threat that should give voters pause. It doesn't. It's more hollow bloviating from a man with no ethics, no conscience, and not even the PR savvy to recognize the outrage his defection has caused among the very people who voted him into office.

The only consolation to be found in a person so deluded and self-absorbed is the fall they inveitably take when reality collides with their increasingly bilious fantasy world.

May Emerson take a long, Mulroney-esque fall from the top of his Tower of Babel. He'll be grabbing for dollars all the way down, but his reputation (already) will possess all of the phyiscal qualities of a used bedpan.

British Columbia Secret Police -- "It's your money, but you'll spend it where I say you can!"

This editorial requires no further editorializing. The situation certainly reminds me of the days when Canada was first saddled with the GST. Living in a border city, everyone I knew (including myself) flocked to the United States to spend their money. Yeah, I felt a twinge of regret for Canadians business owners, but figured if they were so hurt by the cross-border shopping they should organize themselves and address the issue that was sending so many consumers south. But no, we had undercover cops lurking in parking lots of Michigan big box stores drawing with chalk on the tires of cars with Ontario license plates -- to ensure those recalcitrant Canadians weren't buying tires in the U.S. It's great to live in a society where law enforcement personnel had so little to do, but more than once I had to ask myself if I wasn't a citizen of the United Soviet Socialist Republic of Canada.

Charm, Compassion & Dr. Rathe - Niche Marketing Could Save the Day

I once had what I considered a pretty good business idea -- I told a friend who is a terrible driver that he should open a taxi company targeting the niche market of "extreme taxi passengers." Surely there are people in the world -- in our city -- who actually enjoy riding with a crazy driver. I mean, there are people who do BASE jumping, surf in hurricane storm surges; people who drink their own urine and worship the devil. Extreme taxi passengers would sign an insurance waiver and a contract promising to pay for all of their driver's speeding tickets (if he received any) and away they go.

This is an idea that morphs from the old Lilly Tomlin joke about wanting to pair up all the stray crazy people in New York she saw talking to themselves so that they would appear to be having conversations with one another.

In the same vein (pun intended), Dr. Rathe of the article above could be physician to masochists. Considering there are people in the world who spend good money to be insulted, berated and beaten by a surly dominatrix (awkward grammar there because I don't know how to pluralize "dominatrix", surely Dr. Rathe could niche market himself to hypochondriac masochists.

Personally, I think this idea might make Dr. Rathe and his considerable verbal skills something of a circus act. What I really think the good doctor should do is be installed as the Official Physician of Parliament.

My Letter to the new Prime Minister

Dear Prime Minister Stephen Harper,

Welcome to the Prime Minister's mansion. Beware of its rose-colored windows and funhouse mirrors, and the reverberating echo throughout the place, which combine to make occupants of this mansion believe themselves infallible, invincible; their sins invisible. Remember, these walls -- of your library, study, dining hall, bed chamber -- were once witness to the corrupt, snarling laughter of Brian Mulroney and Jean Chrietien.

Conservative friends of mine tell me you and your party are the answer to the failure and disrepute of the Liberal party. Your first day on the job has not persuaded me that this is true. Accepting David Emerson into your party, much less appointing him to a cabinet post was a move dizzying in its hypocrisy and cynical timing. I mean, the conservative party had just run a campaign against that sort of skullduggery, so say members of your own party, and the rightly aggrieved voters who elected David Emerson as a Liberal MP. I know the taint of the Ottawa air, the discombobulating effect Ottawa drinking water has on the mind and senses, but surely you're new enough to your position to realize how this appears to Canadians -- as mud-stained "politics-as-usual." Mr. Harper, even the appearance of impropriety when dealing with the public trust is virtually as damaging as actual impropriety -- or, has it been so long since you were an ordinary citizen to recall that?

You have appointed Montrealer Michael Fortier to the senate. So much for an elected senate; meaning, an accountable senate.

You come at this situation not as a Canadian citizen, but as a politician, and herein lies our divergence. The things that cause me trouble as a citizen, are political currency to you: the HRDC debacle years ago, the Gomery Report, etc. The more corrupt and unresponsive the Liberal party became over the years only benefitted your cause. It has only harmed mine. As leader of the opposition in parliament, the more things the Liberals got wrong served you well. Each scandal, each betrayal of public confidence cost me and millions of others -- peace of mind, money, and belief that our political system might be salvageable. The more things went wrong in Canada, the brighter your political prospects became.

So, while you have gained all that you desired -- less the legislation you are set to propose -- I am one voter among millions who remains engulfed by doubt, pessimism, and acrimony toward the Canadian political system. I'm not saying you didn't win fair and square; we've not yet become America over here. No, I level the lowest and basest accusation against you (before you've even been a week in office): you are just another politician.

You wreathe your cynical cabinet appointments in language resounding with love of country. In my neighborhood, actions speak louder than words, and your actions so far leave me shaking my head. I believe that one embarking on an arduous journey ought to make their first step as solid and positive as possible. Your first step has been into the same old dogshit of patronage and political games.

I continue being troubled by the fact that the right-wing Christian neo-conservative ideologues in the United States cheer your election. Their support of your campaign -- in voice and shaking fists -- was worrisome. There is not a soul to be found among the sordid lot of them; not a shred of humanity among those war-mongering chicken-hawk imperialists who believe God Almighty appointed George W. Bush to the White House and commanded him to invade Iraq. Who believe whole segments of their society rightly go without healthcare, adequate education, and were bred for the specific vocation of wage-slavery or being made into cannon fodder. These Christian neo-con war-mongers believe they have found a kindred spirit in you. Have they?

Mr. Harper, I do hope you follow through with some of your campaign promises, though I admit to fears that you will follow through only in a manner that will please your constituency: right-wing Christian conservatives. I hope you prod Canada toward an elected senate. I hope you jostle us toward a more democratic process of approving persons for judiciary appointments. That you reduce, even eradicate, the GST. That you not institute "gun control", but "criminal control"; our judges are administering feater-duster spankings to violent criminals who ought to be locked away from society for years.

But I fear your crackdown on crime will center on marijuana smokers, rather than white collar criminals or gang bangers shooting up our metropolitan streets. I fear you will reduce our taxes to the great detriment of Canada's social services. I fear that fundamentalist Christianity will be the rudder guiding your decisions and legislation. You've already proven you can't be taken at your word by the appointments of David Emerson and Michael Fortier.

Doubtless the first casualty of my last stated fear will be same-sex marriages. Christian fundamentalists oppose gay marriage because in ten or fifteen years we will see that gay marriages will have outlasted so many so-called "traditional" unions. If the Christian right really wanted to make a move that would strengthen the bonds between husband and wife, they should consider banning celebrities from matrimony, as most celebrity marriages can be measured in hours rather than years. When celebrity marriages end, they are front page news. If you want to preserve the sanctity of marriage, steal Katie Holmes away from Tom Cruise (yes, they're citizens of another country, but consider it a "pre-emptive" strike for morality).

Welcome to your new home and job. A dubious lot has been where you are right now. Surprise us -- do a good job.

The Canadian Political System is Broken: Time for the Neighbour Party

I'm starting a new political party -- The Neighbour Party of Canada -- which will be a radical departure from the business-as-usual politics in the petrie-dish-of-corruption, Ottawa.

At the risk of sounding like a doe-eyed granola-eater who might seem more apt to elect a sandal his political leader, I think it's time we get back to the idea that all Canadians are our neighbours -- not constituents, not underlings, not Rabble, not the Great Unwashed. Neighbours.

Neighbours look out for one another. If the car of my neighbour across the street is stuck in the snow, I help her push it out. If my neighbour a few doors up needed me to watch his kids one evening because he had to run off to some emergency, I'd do it. When my lawnmower broke, my next door neighbour offered the use of hers.

So, it's time the elected swine of this country get back to the idea that they are representing their neighbours, spending their neighbours' money, making policy that affect their neighbours' lives.

What would the Neighbour Party of Canada do if elected to power?

• Establish Winnipeg as the capital of Canada, relocating the parliament, et al, to Manitoba. 'Bye 'bye lobbyists all cozy in your lavish condos and mansions
  
  
• Outlaw the practice of "lobbying"
  
  
• Replace "gun control" with "criminal control"
  
  
• Designate all of Canada a "distinct society"
  
  
• All Canadians will finally be equal -- outlaw "positive discrimination" practices and properly welcome aboriginal persons into the fold by having them pay taxes like everyone else in Canada
  
  
• Abolish the GST -- Canada survived long before it and will survive without it
  
  
• Simplify the tax system - flat tax of 10%, which every earner must pay
  
  
• An elected senate
  
  
• A judiciary appointed via hearings where candidates can be named by the prime minister, but are subject to MPs' questioning and approval
  
  
• The mere appearance of impropriety on the part of any public servant will not be tolerated and will result in immediate termination
  
  
• The term "public servant," laughable and inaccurate as it has become, will be replaced by the new term for people who work for the government "bureaucrap."
  
  
• Terminate all bureaucraps from the top-down in all government ministries and replace their ranks with fresh blood. People cheating our system could not do so without these gray-faced, drone-like stagnant civil servant enablers. The front-line workers in our social services system might snap to attention as they watch their boss's boss's boss being handed his head by my plan
  
  
• Put out a call among those cheating the welfare, EI, mothers' allowance, disability, and every other public assistance system, offering not only blanket immunity from prosecution for the first 250 who come forward, but jobs to them as consultants to help us stop and root-out all the other cheaters
  
  
• Corporate crime will be punished by fining white collar criminals double what they steal. For instance, convicted thief Paul Coffin stole $1.5 million of taxpayers' money. Under my plan, he would be fined $3 million. What if he didn't pay or claimed he could not pay? Maybe five years in Kingston penitentiary gen-pop would encourage some financial creativity or jog his memory about where he stowed other ill-gotten gains
  
  
• Completely overhaul politician salaries and pensions. The Canadian people are not only constituents, we are politicians' neighbours. Neighbours don't get rich off the backs of one another. Politicians will be given a pension of $1,000/year for every year they serve. So, if a politician served six years in government, that person will receive a pension of $6,000/year. Former politicians can figure out their finances from there. Since politicians refer to themselves as "public servants" they should be treated as servants -- they will be paid minimum wage
  
  
• Drastically reduce college and university tuition for students maintaining at least a B+ average. If students want to party their years away or happen to be the dullard child of wealthy parents, their tuition will be doubled to pay for those achieving at least a B+ average
  
  
• Creative, non-incarceration sentences for non-violent offenders. Stiff jail-time penalties for violent offenders