The Canadian Political System is Broken: Time for the Neighbour Party

I'm starting a new political party -- The Neighbour Party of Canada -- which will be a radical departure from the business-as-usual politics in the petrie-dish-of-corruption, Ottawa.

At the risk of sounding like a doe-eyed granola-eater who might seem more apt to elect a sandal his political leader, I think it's time we get back to the idea that all Canadians are our neighbours -- not constituents, not underlings, not Rabble, not the Great Unwashed. Neighbours.

Neighbours look out for one another. If the car of my neighbour across the street is stuck in the snow, I help her push it out. If my neighbour a few doors up needed me to watch his kids one evening because he had to run off to some emergency, I'd do it. When my lawnmower broke, my next door neighbour offered the use of hers.

So, it's time the elected swine of this country get back to the idea that they are representing their neighbours, spending their neighbours' money, making policy that affect their neighbours' lives.

What would the Neighbour Party of Canada do if elected to power?

• Establish Winnipeg as the capital of Canada, relocating the parliament, et al, to Manitoba. 'Bye 'bye lobbyists all cozy in your lavish condos and mansions
  
  
• Outlaw the practice of "lobbying"
  
  
• Replace "gun control" with "criminal control"
  
  
• Designate all of Canada a "distinct society"
  
  
• All Canadians will finally be equal -- outlaw "positive discrimination" practices and properly welcome aboriginal persons into the fold by having them pay taxes like everyone else in Canada
  
  
• Abolish the GST -- Canada survived long before it and will survive without it
  
  
• Simplify the tax system - flat tax of 10%, which every earner must pay
  
  
• An elected senate
  
  
• A judiciary appointed via hearings where candidates can be named by the prime minister, but are subject to MPs' questioning and approval
  
  
• The mere appearance of impropriety on the part of any public servant will not be tolerated and will result in immediate termination
  
  
• The term "public servant," laughable and inaccurate as it has become, will be replaced by the new term for people who work for the government "bureaucrap."
  
  
• Terminate all bureaucraps from the top-down in all government ministries and replace their ranks with fresh blood. People cheating our system could not do so without these gray-faced, drone-like stagnant civil servant enablers. The front-line workers in our social services system might snap to attention as they watch their boss's boss's boss being handed his head by my plan
  
  
• Put out a call among those cheating the welfare, EI, mothers' allowance, disability, and every other public assistance system, offering not only blanket immunity from prosecution for the first 250 who come forward, but jobs to them as consultants to help us stop and root-out all the other cheaters
  
  
• Corporate crime will be punished by fining white collar criminals double what they steal. For instance, convicted thief Paul Coffin stole $1.5 million of taxpayers' money. Under my plan, he would be fined $3 million. What if he didn't pay or claimed he could not pay? Maybe five years in Kingston penitentiary gen-pop would encourage some financial creativity or jog his memory about where he stowed other ill-gotten gains
  
  
• Completely overhaul politician salaries and pensions. The Canadian people are not only constituents, we are politicians' neighbours. Neighbours don't get rich off the backs of one another. Politicians will be given a pension of $1,000/year for every year they serve. So, if a politician served six years in government, that person will receive a pension of $6,000/year. Former politicians can figure out their finances from there. Since politicians refer to themselves as "public servants" they should be treated as servants -- they will be paid minimum wage
  
  
• Drastically reduce college and university tuition for students maintaining at least a B+ average. If students want to party their years away or happen to be the dullard child of wealthy parents, their tuition will be doubled to pay for those achieving at least a B+ average
  
  
• Creative, non-incarceration sentences for non-violent offenders. Stiff jail-time penalties for violent offenders