Retail Fiction: "Would you describe for me what Canadian consumers look like"

A little dialog that should occur between Canadian consumers and Canadian retailers who continue to charge inflated prices even though the Canadian dollar has reached parity with the U.S. greenback:
___________
CANADIAN RETAILERS
I just want you to know how sorry
we are about how fucked up things
got between us and Canadian consumers.
When we entered into this thing, we
only had the best intentions --

As CANADIAN RETAILERS talks, COMMON SENSE takes out his gun and SHOOTS Roger three times in the chest, BLOWING him out of his chair.

Vince smiles to himself. COMMON SENSE has got style.

CANADIAN RETAILERS has just shit his pants. He's not crying or whimpering, but he's so full of fear, it's as if his body is imploding.

COMMON SENSE
(to CANADIAN RETAILERS)
Oh, I'm sorry. Did that break your
concentration? I didn't mean to do
that. Please, continue. I believe
you were saying something about
"best intentions."

CANADIAN RETAILERS can't say a word.

COMMON SENSE
Whatsamatter? Oh, you were through
anyway. Well, let me retort.
Would you describe for me what
Canadian consumers look like?

CANADIAN RETAILERS still can't speak.

COMMON SENSE SNAPS, SAVAGELY TIPPING the card table over, removing the only barrier between himself and CANADIAN RETAILERS. CANADIAN RETAILERS now sits in a lone chair before COMMON SENSE like a political prisoner in front of an interrogator.

COMMON SENSE
What country you from!

CANADIAN RETAILERS
(petrified)
What?

COMMON SENSE
"What" ain't no country I know! Do
they speak English in "What?"

CANADIAN RETAILERS
(near heart attack)
What?

COMMON SENSE
English-motherfucker-can-you-speak-it?

CANADIAN RETAILERS
Yes.

COMMON SENSE
Then you understand what I'm
sayin'?

CANADIAN RETAILERS
Yes.

COMMON SENSE
Now describe what Canadian consumers
look like!

CANADIAN RETAILERS
(out of fear)
What?

COMMON SENSE takes his .45 and PRESSES the barrel HARD in CANADIAN RETAILERS's cheek.

COMMON SENSE
Say "What" again! C'mon, say
"What" again! I dare ya, I double
dare ya motherfucker, say "What"
one more goddamn time!

CANADIAN RETAILERS is regressing on the spot.

COMMON SENSE
Now describe to me what Canadian
consumers look like!

CANADIAN RETAILERS does his best.

CANADIAN RETAILERS
Well they're ... they're ... gray --

COMMON SENSE
-- go on!

CANADIAN RETAILERS
... and they're ... they're ...tall --

COMMON SENSE
-- do they look like a bitch?!

CANADIAN RETAILERS
(without thinking)
What?

COMMON SENSE' eyes go to Vincent, Vincent smirks, COMMON SENSE rolls his eyes and SHOOT CANADIAN RETAILERS in the shoulder.

CANADIAN RETAILERS SCREAMS, breaking into a SHAKING/TREMBLING SPASM in the chair.

COMMON SENSE
Do-they-look-like-a-bitch?!

CANADIAN RETAILERS
(in agony)
No.

COMMON SENSE
Then why did you try to fuck them
like a bitch?!

CANADIAN RETAILERS
(in spasm)
I didn't.

Now in a lower voice.

COMMON SENSE
Yes ya did CANADIAN RETAILERS. Ya tried ta fuck them.